It May Be Worth Delaying Social Media

Until Your Child is Through Puberty. And Their Brain Development Explains Why...

I don’t advocate for a specific age that a child should ‘graduate’ into smartphones and social media. This is largely because kids vary so much in their maturity, genetics, and vulnerability to the potential harms online. I often discuss the 5 R’s of readiness: Reason, Responsible, Respectful, Risk-aware and Resilient.

The 4th R- resilience- I describe as a child’s sense of self, self-esteem and ability to stand up to peer pressure. A sense of who they are in the world, being worthy of love and acceptance. I generally suggest that most kids aren’t ready for smartphones and social media before puberty, because this sense of resilience has not developed yet.

Puberty represents a period of rapid brain development, and the change from child to adult. Hormones are surging, bodies are changing, and kids are still very attached to their parents and yet sorting out their separateness from them. It’s a time of push and pull, lots of emotions, and lots of confusion. This is all normal and not inherently bad, but it does mean that before and during puberty can make adolescents more vulnerable to the harms of things like social media.

Let’s explore this a little bit.

The physical and emotional changes of puberty begin and end at different ages for each child based on their sex, race and ethnicity, as well as environmental factors. Girls typically begin puberty a couple years earlier than boys, starting between 8 and 13. The physical changes of breasts, testicular growth, pubic hair, growth spurts and body odour are notable physical changes. But what’s happening inside the brain?

Vulnerability to Peer Pressure

Research suggests that vulnerability to peer pressure changes over the course of adolescence. The FOMO is real! Between ages 10-14, adolescents appear to lack a strong ability to resist peer pressure, and then susceptibility decreases linearly from ages 14-18. Let’s face it, the pressure exerted by real-life peers can be overwhelming- so adding the pressure kids face by comparing themselves to a world of internet peers, external validation, and confusing messages can be more than they can handle.

Impaired Judgement and Increased Impulsivity

Even though puberty ends around 15-17, the brain does not stop developing until the mid 20’s. Notably, the frontal cortex, which helps your child think before they act, problem solve, and exhibit good judgement. Think of adolescence like a mismatch between gas and brakes on a car. Their brain wants them to take risks, scroll all day and act impulsively, and they lack the ‘brakes’ to think through those decisions. This may make them more likely to send nudes, get caught in sextortion scams, bully others online, or scroll and scroll and scroll. They can’t always consider the consequences of their actions.

Susceptibility to Addiction

The midbrain reward centre (dopamine pathways) are also under construction during adolescence. Their brains are particularly vulnerable to addictive substances or behaviours. It’s well established that exposure to an addictive substance in childhood increases the risk of addiction in adulthood. This means that before and during puberty, kids are more susceptible to the dopamine hits they receive from the addictive features of social media, and are more likely to get hooked long-term.

Hormonal Changes

The adolescent brain pours out adrenal stress hormones, sex hormones, and growth hormone, which in turn influence brain development. During puberty, rates of mental illness increase. With many teens at risk of mental illness already due to genetics or environmental factors, social media can act like a match to light a fire.

For girls, puberty typically ends around age 15 to 17 years. For boys, it tends to end around age 16 to 17 years. Again, every child is different, so these ages can vary. This article may help you to know when your child is through the developmental changes of puberty.

All in all, puberty is a transformative period physically, mentally, socially and emotionally. Adolescents are vulnerable to peer influence and prone to risk-taking behaviours, while simultaneously lacking the cognitive capacity to fully appreciate the consequences of their actions. A child’s underlying genetics and environment will play a role, but for many kids, the risks posed by social media’s poor online safety are more than their brains can developmentally handle.